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It puts everything into perspective, a framework that makes sense, confirming what I always believed. When a couple arrives in the office and they are in some degree of power struggle, it is easy to see that they are still acting out their childhood wounds and engaging in complimentary adaptations, only they can’t see that yet and do not have any language other than the one they are using. From an objective perspective I see the couple as unconsciously re-creating their childhoods in a desperate attempt to heal their wounds and get their needs met. But of course no amount of yelling, criticizing, blaming, shaming or whatever will heal those wounds and get those needs met…..
Understanding the psychological journey and being able to impart that knowledge to the client will begin the process of lifting the veil of unconsciousness. The Parent/Child Dialogue will be the key to unlocking the nightmare that they are engaged in so that they can see their partner as wounded and not the enemy and have compassion for the partner as opposed to disdain, anger, disappointment or whatever they have felt in the past. At the same time, their own wounds are being healed in a complimentary way as their partner is also waking up. It is so healing for the partner to get….this is not about YOU….but you’re the one that can help me resolve this, to heal this wound. It is just as healing for the other as well.
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It really helps me understand their behaviors a lot more clearly. I would find myself get stuck in session without knowing the true origins of their reactions. With this review of attachment in childhood, I am able to give my clients more insight into why and how they are finding themselves being triggered. The parent/child dialog allows me to feel unstuck in session, and helps move my clients into a better place of healing and control.
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